English to Loxish Converter

Converts modern English into a new version that makes more sense (although it's hard to read).

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What the heck am I even looking at?

Cheat sheet

Note that these are purely phonetic (with the exception of the letter "the").

Ħ / ħ → the

Ͽ / ͽ → sh

ζ / Ϟ → ee

δ / ɚ → ay

φ / υ → qu

Ϗ / ϗ → ion

ð / ɤ → ing

Ø / ø → ow

Ϫ / ϫ → ch

Ä / ȧ → aw

þ / Þ → th

ɸ / ϙ → schwa (actually "uh" because English makes no sense)

EtLC may not always be 100% accurate.